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Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers

This post was most recently updated on March 26th, 2014

Seven Social Media Tips For WallflowersPicture it:  You are getting ready to go to a party.  There will be a few people you know, but most who attend this party will be total strangers to you.  Maybe you’ll be a little nervous about wearing the right clothes, about what people may think of you and even what to talk about.  Come on.   Most of us are just not all that confident in ourselves.  We all get a little stage fright in social situations.

You start to get ready for the event, and look in your closet. Hmmm… Fab jeans or that “little black dress?”  You decide what to wear, get dressed and off you go. All the while thinking that you don’t want to be a “Wallflower” and have no one to talk to or engage with.   You enter this party and feel OK.  You’re not overly confident, though, and you start looking for someone you know so you won’t feel out of place.  Then suddenly, a stranger comes up to you and asks you if you know the host.  

“Sure, I know ‘Tom’ for years, what a great guy.”  

A conversation starts and now you are more comfortable with the situation.  You start relaxing and even summon up the nerve to talk to someone you don’t know.  You introduce yourself and then ask a question like the person did to you.  Now you are getting more relaxed and begin enjoying yourself.

By the end of the evening, you have eaten, danced and made so many new friends that you are eager to get together with them again.  

Have you ever been in this kind of situation?  I am sure you have, or something similar to this.

So why the heck am I writing about going to a party?  Simple:  It is exactly what you do when you are engaging with people on Social Media sites.

At first you may be a little shy because you don’t know anyone. You may be intimidated because everyone is connecting and may be using unfamiliar lingo, little insider stories that keep you lingering on the fringes of the action.  You even may have to be the one to take the first step.

If you are a naturally outgoing person, this is probably a cake walk.  But if not, it can be a problem.  So, what can you do to improve your Social Media skills?

Here are Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers

1.  A picture is worth a thousand words.  Yep.  A picture of nature, a funny saying, animals, your pet, you name it.  As long as it is appropriate and not sarcastic or too serious, it’s bound to get you some likes or even comments.

2.  Share a good experience.  “I had the best coffee this morning!”  

3.  Ask a question.  Now, I have a BFF blogging buddy, Adrienne Smith, who posts a “Question of the Day” on Facebook every single week day.  It is so much fun to answer these questions and start getting in the conversation with others.  Last week she asked “How Do You Eat An Oreo Cookie?”  Everyone seemed to jump on that one.   I love it so much I look forward to the next question of the day.  I’m sure she makes tons of friends this way!

4.  Mind your manners.  Remember when your mom told you to say please and thank you?  Well that rule reigns here.  If someone replies to something you put on any social site, say “Thank You”!   

5.  Never get into anything negative.  There will be some folks out there that can get negative at times, so please just ignore them.  They will eventually go away.  Don’t hit the like button if someone is putting something or someone down.  And don’t get into the no-win situation of scolding them, or voicing your outrage. 

They only want negative attention, so stay away from it.  If you must be involved in a conversation like that, find something… anything… that is even remotely positive, and kindly acknowledge that, while ignoring the “mud”.  Remember:  You always catch more flies with honey!

6.  Keep away from politics and religion.  People have strong feelings when it comes to this.  We are on a social site.  Would you go to the party I described above and say to someone “hey….what do think about that dumb law, or those stupid so and so.’s…?”   This only starts a dispute, or worse, a pile-on bash fest.

7.  Keep it simple, be pleasant and most of all be honest.

Now here is my call to action.  What do you do on the social sites?  Have you noticed what gets you the most “likes” and comments?  Or are you still hiding in the shadows?  I would love to know.



Donna Merrill
Donna is a well known blogger and creator of "Blogging Magic" - an intensive guide to blogging. "Blogging Magic" is for beginners who are trying to figure out how to bring their blogs to life with tons of visits, comments and social media interaction. It's even for advanced bloggers looking to reach new levels of authority and engagement with their audience.

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50 Responses to Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers

  1. Rachel Lavern
    October 6, 2013 at 6:29 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Love, love your using a party to illustrate how to show up on social media. I do not really like any of the social media sites and I suppose that makes me look like a ‘wallflower’, eh? I know the supposed ‘right’ things to do and post–I just am not interested in doing them.

    Since the majority of my contacts on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. are not personal friends/family, I do not share much. But you know, even if they were all really friends and family, I would call them up, email them or visit them to share.

    One day I will figure out a way to be online in a way that feels like me. I am quite the rebel though and do not do things just because everyone else is doing them. I have a feeling that my new business coach is going to coax me into doing things differently even on the social media sites…and that is why I like her.

    Perhaps there hope for me yet (LOL).
    Rachel Lavern recently posted..Why I Care About Meta DescriptionsMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 7, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

      Hi Rachel,

      I understand you completely! My husband is not a fan of Social media an he is always in the back ground doing his business. No worries!

      As long as your business is doing well, stay on course. On the other hand, I must say that Social Media doesn’t have to be so personal. It can be informative, fluff, or whatever complies with your niche.

      Now you have great stuff on your blog girl. It would be nice for more people to engage with you. But…maybe you don’t have the time for it.

      If your new business coach wants you to get on social media more often, just remember this: It really doesn’t take much time. 10 minutes two to three times a day on Facebook will get you miles of engagement. Just say’n lol.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Box On Social MediaMy Profile

  2. Ryan Biddulph
    October 6, 2013 at 1:27 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Adrienne’s approach is golden! Love seeing her questions when they happen to hit my stream.

    Ask, engage and most of all, have fun!

    Spot on tips buddy 🙂
    Ryan Biddulph recently posted..Who Loves Cash Gifting?My Profile

  3. Leslie Denning
    October 5, 2013 at 9:26 pm #

    Hi Donna. Great list. I know when I first got going on Facebook, I spoke my political mind too often. I’ve stopped that now. It doesn’t change anyone’s mind, and it just causes conflict. If someone who is a ‘friend’ goes on and on about controversial topics, I usually unfriend them if they are someone I don’t interact with very much.

    Sometimes I think I’d rather interact with people on social media than at a party. I have to make appointments with friends to go to lunch or whatever so that I don’t turn into a computer hermit. Ha! Thanks for your thoughts on a really important topic.

    All the best,
    Leslie Denning recently posted..Business Essentials: Autoresponders Part 3My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 6, 2013 at 2:12 pm #

      Hi Leslie,

      Speaking our political minds will only get us in trouble. There are pros and cons to what we say, so it is better of left unsaid.

      When people online or offline ask me about my views, I politely tell them, I don’t get into it, not even with my husband sometimes.

      I too rather hang out with my social media friends than those in real life sometimes also. I can be in my Pajamas and have a blast!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Box On Social MediaMy Profile

  4. Ilka Flood October 5, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Those are excellent tips on how to conduct yourself on Social Media. It’s indeed like going to a party. So I love that analogy.

    You’re right, Adrienne does an incredible job of keeping her friends engaged. We can all learn a lot from her.

    I have found that updates that are a little bit more personal are getting the most comments and likes. (At least they do for me.) Followed by motivational and uplifting posts. Everyone loves positive stuff, nobody wants the negative.

    Great post, thanks so much for sharing your insights!

    Ilka Flood recently posted..How Big is Your Rolodex?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 7, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

      Hi Ilka,

      Indeed Adrienne is a great example to get things going on Facebook.

      Yes, those positive motivational quotes are great! Anything positive or something that would reach the heart works.

      I sometimes post silly things like “I made a great dinner tonight…reservations” Everyone can resonate with that! I find that when I post something common, I get a lot of action.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Box On Social MediaMy Profile

  5. Ade October 5, 2013 at 6:58 pm #

    Thanks Donna for these tips! I am just warming my way into social media. I have a question though! On Facebook, how do you respond to a like?

    I have some faithful friends who usually like my posts! Right now I don’t do anything, but reading your post today got me wondering if there is a proper response for Facebook likes.

    • Donna.Merrill October 7, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

      Hi Ade,

      We usually don’t respond to the “like” but you can comment once in a while and say “thanks for the like (mention their name)”

      I would say that it is not only the posts to concentrate on, but other stuff that your friends are posting too.

      Whatever you find interesting on FB, you can like and comment. That will eventually cause a reaction.

      Take your time and people will start interacting with you. If you need any further help, you can always PM me.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Box On Social MediaMy Profile

  6. Chery Schmidt
    October 5, 2013 at 5:09 pm #

    Hey Donna! I like how you started your post out talking about this party of yours HEHE Anyways you have hit on soem very good points here today I guess I have been hiding in the shadows when it comes to my social media sites but I have been working on a strategy for this and your post here has given me a few idea’s to put inot my plan.. Thanks for the tips. Chery 🙂
    Chery Schmidt recently posted..If You Want To Be A Winner, Change Your Work From Home Philosophy Now!My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 5, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

      Glad to be of help Chery!

      Get out there and just post anything you are interested in. It doesn’t have to pertain to your niche necessarily. Whatever is part of your life that you find appropriate to share is great.

      I made many relationships with people who are dog lovers, gardeners, etc, without necessarily a marketing edge.

      Go for it!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  7. Leanne Chesser October 5, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

    I love this. I’ve actually talked about this analogy before with a colleague. We were discussing the topic of blasting out offers/products/opportunities and the fact that people wouldn’t do that at a party . . . how it’s about conversation and getting to know people . . . and how offers are shared when it’s known that there’s a fit and something of value for the person. I enjoyed the Oreo cookie example. I imagine tons of people had something to say! That brings up an interesting point, which is that social media posts and interactions don’t necessarily have to always be in line with what your business is about.
    Leanne Chesser recently posted..The Miraculous List of GratitudeMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 5, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

      Hi Leanne,

      One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone always blasts out their opportunity on the social sites. There is the Pareto principal that is great to follow: 80% giving and 20% offering a product or service. For me it is 90/10!

      I like to engage on social sites and get to know people on deeper levels. It is a great platform to share my buddy bloggers information via syndication.

      Yes, that oreo cookie example my friend Adrienne used was a blast!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  8. Kathy from Bliss Habits October 5, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    Good stuff here! Funny I started reading and thinking that I really am not much of a wallflower but I think that isn’t entirely true. I primarily hang in places where I feel comfortable. I think I’ll be using some of your ideas here to tip toe into some new spaces. Thank you!
    Kathy from Bliss Habits recently posted..Trust the destiny that knows your nameMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 5, 2013 at 3:19 pm #

      Hi Kathy

      Good for you…get out of the box and you will feel great. Remember take one baby step at a time and before you know it, you will be more comfortable hanging around.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  9. Arleen
    October 3, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

    I am not a shy person but I have to admit that social media was very intimidating to me when I started working on this in April. To tell you truth I really don’t know what it was. I started connecting with several people and wow I have really gotten into it. They are not scary, they are just people. I have stayed away from sites that get into politics.

    Susan Cooper puts up great recipes once a week in addition to her blog. And who doesn’t like to eat. I feel like I know her as well as many of the other bloggers I have met through social media as well as you. Great mix of people.
    Arleen recently posted..Have You Heard of Do Something Nice Day? It’s October 5th!My Profile

  10. Corina Ramos October 3, 2013 at 11:45 am #

    These are great tips Donna!

    It’s funny because if I meet someone in person, I can hit it off with anyone and just strike up a conversation but I had problems applying that principle when making online connections.

    I would start replying to a comment or want to join in on conversations but I always thought, this person doesn’t want to read what I have to say…I’m nothing but a newbie.

    So glad to say I was wrong because when I did I was welcomed by some great folks, including you! And that made it so much easier for me to just get in there and make new connections. It’s how I did it with you :).

    I love Adrienne’s question of the day…she always has a great response to them doesn’t she? And asks the silliest questions at times!

    I definitely stay away from negative stuff and leave politics and religion alone.

    I did grow personally reading this post because I realized I don’t initiate conversations or share images as often as I should and I need to work on that.

    Great post Donna! Hope you’re having a great week!
    Corina Ramos recently posted..Technical Support Reps Are Also Working From HomeMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

      Hi Corina,

      I remember when you first came online! It was such a pleasure to meet you and I knew you were a newbie. We did PM one another on Facebook. That was then….Now you are working like a pro!

      It is a wonderful feeling to see that Corina. Keep on going girl, you have the hang of it….You are doing great.

      Now all you have to do is post something to initiate a conversation. You may not get a reply or you may get tons. Keep on doing it, because friends come online at different times and you may get lost in the shuffle.

      You will find, from your likes and comments certain times of the day when your peeps are around. That’s why I visit FB three times a day for 10 minute intervals.

      Lots of my peeps are out late nite. So I try to stir up some action then.

      Meanwhile….I’ll be looking for you!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  11. Jon Patrick October 3, 2013 at 9:09 am #

    Morning Donna,
    Great post, and you hit on something I get very…. “excited” about!
    I have so many FB friends that I have added because of their business interest, and I get sick and tired of their posting about politics!
    What’s going to happen when you do that? You’ll tick off some percentage of people you’re connected too.
    More than once in the past year, I’ve gone through and unfriended people simply for this reason.
    There is no good that will come from talking politics, regardless of how passionate you may be, on a profile you use for business.
    Jon Patrick recently posted..My Fun LIFE!My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

      Hi Jon,

      I too have unfriended many people because they post too much politics on Facebook. Now the reason we are on Facebook is to engage with others for business ventures, learning curves, or talking to our colleagues.

      I don’t like to be bombarded with their political views. It is a turn off on line and off line. They just end up on a hate rant that won’t solve anything and to me there is no point.

      It’s one of my big pet peeves because it serves no purpose at all in the long run.

      Thanks for stopping by,

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  12. Sylviane Nuccio
    October 2, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Those are very good tips indeed.

    I do not use social media for fun much but more as backlinks and blog sharing I’m afraid. Once in a while I do post a picture on facebook, like the last time was September 17th where I put a picture of my Sophie for her birthday 🙂 I did get few comments on that and I actually love it. Just don’t have too much time for it.

    Like right now I’m reading a couple of blog posts, and I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted 🙂 Mornings there’re always more important things to do than post a fun stuff on facebook, unfortunaely. So, that’s my life for now but it will get better 🙂

    I never get involved in religion and politics. Indeed it’s a bad idea. Not long ago a guy was trying to pick me up on facebook and when I went to his page there were tons of pictures of war. I told him that just by the look of his page there were no way on earth that we could ever have anything in common. Good gracious!!!

    Thanks for sharing, Donna.

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

      Hi Sylviane,

      Oh those crazy guys that try to pick us up! I have to laugh so much when I get something like that. I don’t even answer. Heck…I’m a grandmother and am proud of it.

      Who knows what their real motives are. I’m glad you went over to his page to see what he was about before getting into trouble!

      Facebook can be a bit strange, but I like to post things and only go there three times a day for ten minutes each time.

      Thanks for sharing,

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  13. Lisa
    October 2, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    Donna, interesting topic. I don’t like networking person to person events that much, I get shy in crowds but one on one okay. I don’t normally get shy on social media but sometimes are afraid to ask questions for they may not get answered 🙂 (Been there, done that…) It really depends on topics too. Images and quotes are easier to usually get comments, like and shares.
    I don’t respond to just hi messages either. They seem spammy to me.
    It’s really true only 10% of people on FB respond, the rest are lurkers. I’ve noticed most bloggers are not lurkers, and love to gab away. Maybe that’s a trait of most bloggers?
    Lisa recently posted..Demistying WordPress Plugins For Your BlogMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

      Hi Lisa,

      I think that it is a trait that most bloggers have. We love to gab away!

      As for those that lurk..I have one guy that presses Like for EVERYTHING I do. He is not a blogger, but has been around my FB for 2 years. Go figure!

      Oh those Hi messages!!!! Cannot stand them. I never answer them. I did once and lesson learned. A guy I wasn’t sure if I knew did that. Then he said he was having a problem and wanted me to help him out. Sure… as any good social media friend would say. It ends up that he was crude and wacky. I was shocked at what he told me, called my husband over, and deleted him.

      I guess we all have to learn the hard way sometimes!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  14. gladys
    October 2, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    Hello Ms. Donna

    I love your picture image!

    Great idea to use preparing for a party and then venturing out to mingle when a person is not familiar with anyone.

    Donna, I am still learning so much. I am still trying to make sure I say thank you for anyone that shares my post.

    The Question of the Day from Ms. Adrienne is so much fun. I enjoy reading the answers.

    Still on the learning curve but thankful for people like You, Adrienne, Barbara and Sylviane, I am getting a bit better.

    Thank you for this interesting post.
    Oh….. The two areas to keep away from…..I stay away from those areas with everyone, not just bloggers or people on my faceBook page.

    Gladys posted How to Build your Self Worth
    gladys recently posted..How To Build Your Self WorthMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

      Hi Gladys,

      The party is just like us getting to know one another. Only months ago, I didn’t know you at all. Now, through blogging, we are learning about one another. I find this the most fascinating of all when it comes to internet marketing.

      I’m still on a learning curve too. I think we all are because things move and change so quickly and as we grow our business, we need to learn other things as well.

      I spend half my day learning and the other working. That’s the fun of it all!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  15. Sue Price
    October 2, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    Hi Donna

    I love love love this post. The example of going to a party is the first one I ever heard when I was learning about social media. It was in the context of if you go to a party you do not go in and hand your business cards out and do a sales spiel to everyone you meet – same on social media. Not that I would ever have spammed links everywhere but it always stuck in my mind. As I get spammed daily. I am gonna post this on my profile every day 🙂

    I agree with all your advice and points. And I am so glad you included never get into anything negative. I did a course with Ray Higdon last year which was based on Think and Grow Rich – and he put a modern day online spin on it. He made the point if we believe in Law of Attraction why would we continually post stuff we don’t want on FB. I especially am not interested in people’s political views.

    A great post and excellent advice Donna. Now tell me would you wear the little black dress or jeans? 🙂

    Have a good rest of your week.

    Sue Price recently posted..Advantages of playing Cashflow101 – by Robert KiyosakiMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

      Thanks Sue!

      To me social media is a party in slow motion. Sure we can hand out our business cards, but after we get to know someone. Just like at a party, we can sense who would be interested in our business or not.

      And of course I would wear that little black dress, with heels and long earrings of course!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  16. Yorinda October 1, 2013 at 6:21 pm #

    Hi Donna,
    your suggestion of asking questions is my favorite, even in off line situations.
    Asking a question on the social media plant forms makes sense and I have seen it generate a lot of comments.
    Personally, I am still hiding in the shadows and I am ok with that for now. I am learning lots as I observe.

    Thank you for contributing to my learning.
    Love and Light!
    Yorinda recently posted..Health Benefits of Coconut flourMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

      Hi Yorinda,

      I like your quotes that you put on the social media platform. When I come across them on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter, I always press that like button and sometimes share it.

      That is a great way to start some engagement!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  17. marquita herald
    October 1, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

    Great advice as always Donna. I think your point about avoiding negativity is particularly relevant because so much of what we say and do online is spread far and wide and has a way of staying around forever.

    I remember a very valuable lesson about this when I first started working online. I commented on a blog post that – well, frankly really pissed me off. I thought I’d be okay speaking my mind as long as I didn’t include my website URL. HA! Good thing I closely monitor such things because 2 days later I got an email with a list of mentions for my name and there smack in the middle of the list was that snarky comment – I was so embarrassed! Oh, I still felt the same way about the stupid article, but as an author my name is my brand, and I’d screwed up royally by losing site of that, even in a simple blog post. Thanks for the inspiration and reminder!
    marquita herald recently posted..Thoughtfulness is Freeing Your Mind to be CreativeMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 3, 2013 at 3:57 pm #

      Wow Marquita!

      Thanks for sharing that one! We need to spread this kind of message to all those that are coming into the online world.

      They learn things, but I find the part that is missing in some teaching is etiquette.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  18. Jeevan Jacob John October 1, 2013 at 2:55 pm #

    Me? I want to be the wallflower 😀 I like not talking to others (it’s not so much about nervousness. I used to consider myself as an introvert, still do to an extent, but I have no problem in interacting with others. Then again, it might be that I define introverts differently). I like to think, think alone, and I prefer thinking over speaking.

    Social media? I have to problem. I like talking to people via SM (perhaps it is because I don’t have to directly talk to them).

    Great tips, by the way 😉 Especially #6. I think we, as a species, have to do better than that (How many times are we going to fight over our beliefs? Just learn to respect everyone’s beliefs, whatever they are, right? :D).

    Love tip number 2. Sharing experiences! We learn, we share, we learn more from the comments we receive.

    Just socialize, after all it is ‘social’ media, right?

    As for manners, I am confused about that. I personally find it annoying when people thank me for each share (Sure, it is good. But, I already know that you appreciate my share, especially if we are good friends). So, I am confused on how thank people (On twitter, I do reply back. On other SM sites, I just like or plus the comment; I don’t reply back and say thank you, unless it is a person is not my friend).

    Thanks for the tips, Donna 😀

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 6:56 pm #

      Thanks for your awesome comment Jeevan,

      You sound just like my husband. He is quiet and is always thinking. Not an introvert, but like you he prefers thinking over speaking!

      As for number 6, yes, we need to respect on another and enjoy our differences. Hey, I grew up in NYC with a great cultural blend of people. Since I was a kid, I enjoyed all the cultural and various religions. It was a pleasure to have that experience.

      I like your edge o #2!

      As for manners, we don’t have to thank you for the thank you’s lol, A simple like is fine, A thank you to someone that has syndicated us is great.

      Thanks for your input,

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

      • Jeevan Jacob John October 6, 2013 at 6:34 pm #

        Indeed. But, I feel that we are not doing a good job getting along (everyone has motives, personal interests. Can’t blame them for that. But, it would be nice if we could work together for the betterment of our planet).

        Okay 😀 Thank you for your output on that, Donna.

        No mention!

        • Donna.Merrill October 7, 2013 at 3:55 pm #

          Absolutely Jeevan!

          I think that if we do one simple act of kindness, it does carry a strong impact for the betterment of our planet.

          I also believe that actions speak louder than words. Being kind, empathetic, and keeping on the “good” side will have more impact because of our behavior.

          No, can’t blame people for not getting along with their motives and/or personal interests, but ignore the behavior and it won’t grow.

          We are all connected Jeevan. As long as we know that, we follow the golden rule of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” we will be OK and make our world a better place one step at a time.

          Donna.Merrill recently posted..10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Box On Social MediaMy Profile

  19. Dragan Palla
    October 1, 2013 at 2:43 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    It was fun reading that socializing on that party. Familiar situation for me. 😉

    It’s great how you compared real life’s situation to virtual social media. There’s no need for reinventing the wheel and all 7 tips are in place.

    Pleasure to meet you Donna and it was pleasure reading this post.

    Dragan Palla recently posted..Why Blogging Lets You Stay Ahead of the CurveMy Profile

  20. Barbara Charles
    October 1, 2013 at 12:51 pm #

    Oooooooh yeah! Been there, done that! At both parties and in social media. It’s is a perfect example Donna and analogy that people can easily understand. You are sooooo smart!

    Both situations we are a little uncomfortable at first, then we warm up, then we’re yakking and having a good time and you forget all about being uncomfortable in the beginning. Funny how that works with social media so well.

    I know I had to learn it and still have difficulty sometimes just talking to people online. Sometimes you just don’t know what to say and I admire those people that is comes to so naturally.

    I know you don’t believe it, but I’m am naturally a little shy and only after I’ve warmed up to people, do things flow easily and naturally.

    Thanks for the pointers and the tips. I definitely needed the help.

    Barbara Charles recently posted..The Effectiveness of Advertising Frequency?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

      I just cannot believe that you are shy Barbara!

      Knowing you is a pleasure and you always make me laugh, teach me things, and are supportive.

      I picture you going into a party dancing your way in!

      Glad this helped.

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  21. Kumar Gauraw
    October 1, 2013 at 12:25 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Athough your entire post is very well done and you’ve really made the concept simple through the ‘Party’ example, I especially liked the fact that you too have mentioned about two of the important ideas:

    1. Don’t indulge into religion and politics
    2. Don’t engage in negative discussions

    Both of these points have a tremendous value and require discipline consistently to remember and practice. These are such a tempting topics that we can almost unknowingly fall into the trap if we are not cautious.

    Enjoyed your post and now going to share 🙂 Thank you!
    Kumar Gauraw recently posted..You Should Blog Regularly Even When Don’t Feel Like An ExpertMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

      Hi Kumar,

      Glad you enjoyed this post. Yes those two points must be a rule of thumb. We do have to keep in mind that whatever we say on social media is there forever.

      One can ruin their brand my just hitting the like button!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  22. Adrienne
    October 1, 2013 at 11:35 am #

    Hey Donna,

    I love the example you used about going to a party. I think that’s the best way for most to relate to being social online. That and inviting someone over to your home, you don’t just let anyone in do you!

    Thank you for sharing my example of my question of the day. I loved the one about the magnets on your refrigerator. Two of the ladies said can you imagine everyone dropping what they’re doing to run in to look to see how many you have? One lady said her husband thought she was nuts. I love that, what a hoot.

    It really doesn’t take much to strike up a conversation with people and not all will respond. That’s okay because it’s like that party example. You won’t have a chance to have a meaningful conversation with everyone in the room but you will connect with a select few and that’s a great start.

    Like Bill mentioned, I don’t like anything anymore on Facebook. I prefer to comment on the post instead of hit the like button since I never know what Facebook will relate that like to.

    Great share here and thanks for this wonderful example. Now let’s go make some more connections shall we!

    Adrienne recently posted..How To Build Relationships Through BloggingMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 11:56 am #

      Hi Adrienne!

      I just had to use you as a fine example. Your “Question of the Day” really sparks a conversation. It is just like being at a party because a simple fun question can resonate with people.

      Oh that magnet one you shared was a hoot! People were running and counting how many magnets they had on their refrigerator. Of course I was the odd ball that didn’t have any because I’m a clean freak and clean my frig all the time so it is shiny. When I said “am I nuts?” you replied Yes. Oh that was too funny!

      But this is the essence of social media. Getting people to have a little fun and getting to know them. I love to connect with people because we start sharing and bonding.

      From there, real friendships develop like us! I just love it!

      Rock on…….

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  23. Harleena Singh
    October 1, 2013 at 10:30 am #

    Hi Donna,

    Interesting topic of discussion 🙂

    Yes, some people like to hide and stay away from social media for the very reasons you mentioned, though I think with time, once they learn the ways, they get better.

    I see each one of Adrienne’s question of the day and answer most of them – though in my mind because each time I am on FB, I’m loaded with tonnes of notifications, messages, likes, shares, comments….ah…it just gets too much at times to answer 100 of them. I try avoiding more interaction than I already get to be honest, so even though it’s so easy for me to start a conversation and answer to many, I just avoid because of the time factor. Yes, weekends are a little time I get, but then too, there are many bloggers who need help, so I take out a little time to visit their sites and help or guide them in some ways.

    Perhaps this happens because I share my posts on various FB groups and I need to handle the comments that come up on those shares on FB additionally. Same is the case with G+ and the various communities. In my case, I need to limit my time and literally run-away from such sites or I’d land up staying there for ages…lol…:)

    I liked your tips, and yes, be polite, don’t forget to say thank you for every like, share, or comment, and avoid controversy’s, though DO stand up for your friend’s when need be. What works best for me are the picture quotes I share, or whenever I share someone else’s post – people do take up to these rather well and that’s more than enough presently for me to handle 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted..5 Golden Tips On How To Deal With AngerMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 11:50 am #

      Hi Harleena,

      I just love your quotes on Facebook! As a trusted friend I can push that like button and even comment!

      I know what you are saying about all the time one can spend on those social sites. We do have to disciple ourselves to visit it on a timely basis, but not get stuck there all day.

      There is too much for us to do, but our social presence is important. I visit the social sites 2 or 3 times a day for only 10 minutes at a time. Otherwise, I would be stuck and never get my work done.

      Yes, I do stay far away from controversy’s but I will be the first to stand up for a friend in need.

      Thanks for sharing your points of view!

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

  24. William Butler
    October 1, 2013 at 4:35 am #

    Hi Donna,

    I love the word picture of the party that you used.

    Your points are well taken. Very good points, indeed!

    I often struggle to balance my time between ongoing coaching and creative projects with my time for social media. When I do interact, I am polite and as helpful as I can be. I did manage to load Hootsuite this week while we have family visiting.

    One thing that annoys me are spam messages… followers sending an “other” message on Facebook or a DM on Twitter that has nothing to do with anything… such as… “Hello, Hi? How are you?” Being polite, I reply, then get no response. I now don’t answer such a message.

    Something else… Someone, who is on the leadership team I am on, posted on Facebook their personal struggles with cancer. This person had a huge number of “likes” and comments. I sure understand the comments, but I don’t like the fact that this person has cancer and struggles through the suffering.

    I know Adrienne wrote a post why she won’t “like” anything on Facebook any more.

    I was going to give you my two cents worth. Looks like I’ve tossed in a dime.

    All the best,
    William Butler recently posted..How To Write Your AutobiographyMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill October 1, 2013 at 11:45 am #

      Hi William,

      I rather have your dime than your two cents! Thank you for adding to this post.

      I know what you mean with those “Hi” messages….I just ignore them. Oh and that PM on Facebook where someone says they like our stuff and wants to get to know more about us. Then it says “Don’t reply here…email me” Yikes! I feel sorry for the people that fall for that scam. Who knows what they are up to.

      They use women because they are supposed to be more “trusted” Bull…..

      And Yes, I read that post from Adrienne and we must be careful about pressing that “like” button!

      Thanks again,

      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Seven Social Media Tips For Wallflowers My Profile

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